What Adopted Persons Do Not Wish to Hear

You are special because you are adopted
You were chosen
Your natural mother loved you so much she gave you up
It turned out all right
You’re lucky
You shouldn’t be angry
You shouldn’t be sad
Be careful what you ask for, you might get it
By finding her you are invading her life
Why are you interested in someone that didn’t want you
Ever since you started searching you have become obsessed with this
But your adoptive parents love(d) you so much
But you are hurting your adoptive parents
Babies don’t remember anything
It is just biological
You are being ungrateful to your adoptive parents
You have no respect for your adoptive parents
Get over it
If she loved you she wouldn’t have given you away
Forget it and get on with your life
Why would you want to find her
It’s in the past, you can’t change it
You have no right to disturb her life
But your adoptive parents really wanted you…
What’s wrong, weren’t your adoptive parents good enough?
How many mothers do you need?
Oh, you’re one of them?
You adopted children should respect her privacy
But you look like you come from such a good family
But you don’t look adopted
If she didn’t want you then, why would she want you now?
You will break your adoptive mother’s heart
You are probably much better off without her
She was probably on drugs or something
Concentrate on your immediate family
What about your REAL parents?
People shouldn’t be allowed to look.
Why now, after all these years?
You might be opening a Pandora’s box
How do you know she won’t reject you again?
You are making the biggest mistake of your life.
Weren’t we good parents?
But you were born in my heart, why do you need another mother?
Tell me you only have one mother.

From “Adoption Healing” by Joe Soll