“I tried to see him, my sister tried to get him, but the social workers stopped all that.”
I was deeply in love, with a wonderful guy. He was my world, my life. We had plans to settle down, get married and eventually have children. Unfortunately, while he was gone my world was turned upside down. I was just a kid, 17 years old, out having fun with friends at our locale bowling alley. It was late and we had to get home. I wanted to get home to receive a call from my sweetheart, who joined the Navy and was stationed in Victoria, BC. A guy I new quite well offered to give me a ride along with his other friend. I thought nothing of it.
That is where my nightmare began:
We left the bowling alley at midnight. I got into the car, waved goodbye to my best friend and off we went. First, they asked if they could make a quick stop to grab a hamburger before dropping me off. Yes sure, again thinking I was ok, because I have known these to guys for approximately 2 years. He started driving, towards 17 Avenue SE, I live in Glamorgan which is SW. I asked where we were headed as there was a hamburger place near by.
The next thing I hear is the car doors locking, it was dark and quite cold out that evening. I was now starting to get very scared. I thought this was a joke so I asked them what they were trying to do.
One of the guys started telling me how much I wanted it. They pulled into a big field, held me down, and started to remove my coat and rip my clothes off. I started screaming in the middle of nowhere. Nobody was there to hear my cries. They beat me so hard I wanted die. They were all over me, touching me, hitting me, telling me how much I wanted it. I was forced to perform sexually acts that I am repulsed about. One guy forced his penis into me and it hurt so much I passed out.
When I came to, I was outside in the cold, in this field, alone and crying out for help. They just left me there to die. I was bleeding, and in a lot of pain. I was brutally raped, by what I thought were my friends.
Eventually, a person driving by saw me and he immediately helped me into his car, and called the police and an ambulance and I went to the hospital.
I remained in the hospital for quite sometime. I had so many internal injuries that they wanted to be sure I was ok. Finally the day came and I went home. So out of it, terrified at every turn, didn’t want to live at all. My parents were very quiet they just kept looked at me. I felt that it was my fault. They never talked about it even to this very day.
A few months passed, and I went to the doctor for a check up. I can remember the doctor’s words too! My sister was with me and the doctor came in and said, “I have good news and I have bad news.” The good news was that my sister was pregnant; the bad news was that I was pregnant too. So, because of my age, the doctor gave me all these things to read, told me to have an abortion right away. I walked out in shock, as I needed time to absorb all this. I was terrified so they suggested that I see a Social Worker. Well, I saw this social worker that I thought was really going to help me through this. I was wrong, she preached about my age, how I was unable to have a child because I was still a child myself. I never went back again because this was my child.
Time passed and finally it was time to have my baby, I could feel him kick, and move all over the place this was my child, a tiny life. Incredible feeling. On August 17, 1976 I went to the hospital, where they drugged me, and eventually put me out. When I woke up, my sister was there. I asked her if my baby was ok, and what was it, boy or girl. “You had a boy, Debbie, 8 pounds 1 ounce.” “Can you get him for me? I want to see my son.” I tried to see him, my sister tried to get him, but the social workers stopped all that. I was sent home the next day, without warning and never saw my beautiful son. While under the influence of drugs I signed papers to give my son away to strangers I never knew.
Today I am still searching for my son, needing him, loving him and desperately wanted to hold him close. I received papers from Post Adoption Registries in 2000 and decided to get more help.
That kind of help I didn’t need. I contacted an adoption agency caleld “Adoptions by Choice” to start a search — the only way to do it in Alberta. All sounded so positive. Again I tried to believe in a Social Worker. She began the search, located him and contacted me right away. She actually spoke to the person who originally did the adoption. Received my sons address and phone and spoke to him. I really feel that this was not handled correctly. He spoke to her once and said he was very curious about me, wanted to know what I looked like. My son new that he was adopted at the age of 13. It sounded so promising. He was now 5 feet 7 inches tall, big hazel eyes, brown hair, college degree, builds Quonsets for a living and really enjoys hockey. After all that information he was never heard from again. The lady from Adoptions by Choice decided to talk to the adoptive parent. Well, it was over then…She told the social worker that she had thought about me over the years and wanted to send pictures, but didn’t know how to reach me. That was the last time we had contact. The rules are if you do not hear from the people you are trying to locate within three months the file goes back to Post Adoption Registries. They slammed on a clause called a default veto. Adoptions by Choice had the default veto put on.
Once the records became open I sent for my information, but still received papers that were marked off where the adoptive parents names were, my son’s name address were all covered up. The default veto is still in place. Which is really stupid considering we didn’t have a choice. I read the papers and I have his birth registration number, what he was like, how much he ate, and his first tooth, all of the things I missed. This all took place in Edmonton. I found that my son wasn’t at a home until October 1976. Where was he placed until then?
So this is my story…I will never give up, and I hope with all my heart he knows that I love him, and we will be together someday as he needs to know the truth. My beautiful son, Barry Dean Reynolds
I love you Barry always and forever.
Love, Mom
Debbie Reynolds