What the Adoption Industry Does Not Want You To Know

They will not tell you that the only thing a baby needs and wants is his or her own mother.

They will not tell you about the wound of separation the child will suffer for the rest of his or her life. Read: Primal Wound, Nancy Verrier

They will not tell you about the severe long lasting psychological damage to surrendering mothers studies which have shown to include Disenfranchised grief and loss, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Hyper vigilance of subsequent children, Major Depression, secondary infertility, and search and reunion issues just to name a few.

They will not tell you that Open Adoption does not mean communication between the parties. It means that each party knows who the other party is. In closed adoptions the parties do not know the identities of each other.

They will not tell you that once Consent papers are signed that the Adopters have full legal control of the child and can stop any kind of access or communication at any time they want and that most of them do so. The internet is full of crying girls saying “but they told me it was open” or “why won‘t they send me any pictures, they promised…?”.

They will not tell you that 60% of surrendering mothers never have another child. This child is part of your past and part of your future. It may be your only son or daughter ever. Your child and the future generations will be carrying on a strangers’ name instead of yours. Your child’s heritage and legacy will be lost.

They will not tell you that your relationship with your parents may never be the same after adoption, and that if your parents encouraged the adoption, you will most probably have deep unresolved anger towards them for the rest of your life when you realize later the extent of your loss.

They will not tell you about the financial help and resources available to you.

Website: www.originscanada.org Keeping Your Child/Making it Work

They will not tell you about the financial and educational resources available for you to continue your educational goals while providing daycare for your child.

They will not tell you that there are many successful and thriving single parents in our society, and that more than 50% of marriages with “two parent families” end in divorce. Single parents CAN and DO succeed in raising great kids.

They will not tell you about the immense grief and loss you will experience and the regret and guilt you will feel.

They will not tell you that the divorce rate among couples who adopt is higher than the national average.

They will not tell you that an adopted couple may not remain married, remain financially secure or even remain alive long enough to raise the child. In other words, they won’t tell you that adopted couples are just as vulnerable to life situations as anyone else.

They will not tell you that you, as the natural parent of the child, has built in parenting skills having a sacred bond and understanding of the nature of her own child.

They will not tell you that Parenting Classes are also available to you to enhance her natural skills.

They will not tell you that adopted children have more behavioural and emotional problems including feelings of abandonment and attachment difficulties.

They will not tell you that adopted children fantasize about being raise in their natural families and feel disconnected to their adopted parents, and feel they must “please” the adopted parents or they may be “given away”.

They will not tell you that the best mother for your child is YOU, because you are your child’s mother by the laws of nature and that the sacred and mysterious mother/child bond lasts forever.

CopyrightValerieAndrews2009