Adoption Coercion Checklist

Common Coercion Methods Used 

Below is a list of some common practices used systemically by the adoption industry as means of obtaining babies for adoption. Many of these methods may have been applied to you by adoption agencies, social workers, clergy, nurses, nuns, clergy, doctors, social service agencies, and others with a vested interest in obtaining a baby for adoption.

Use this checklist to validate your personal experience of coercion:

 

A. Psychological Coercion. Purpose: To convince you that you were unfit as a mother and thus had to give your baby to people “more fit’ or “more deserving.”

Methods used by “Adoption Professionals”:

You were told you that you were unfit to be a mother because you  were single or unmarried.

You were told that you would be inadequate as a mother.

You were told that keeping your baby would be selfish.

You were invited to draw up a list comparing what you could give to your baby with what adopters could give.

It was stressed to you that your baby “needed a two-parent family.”

It was stressed to you that the needs of your baby came before your own needs and that you could not fulfil your baby’s needs.

You were told that surrendering your baby would be a “brave”, “selfless” and “courageous” act.

You were told that if you did not surrender your baby, that your baby would end up in foster care.

You were told that surrendering your baby is an expression of how much you love your baby (message: if you keep your baby then you don’t love your baby).

You are told that adoption is “thinking about what is best for your baby.” (message: adoption is best for your baby).

You are told that adoption is “putting your baby’s needs first.” (i.e. before your own needs. Message: your baby does not need you.)



B. Psychological Coercion. Purpose: To convince you that you have an emotional obligation to surrender your baby.

Methods used by “Adoption Professionals”:

You were told to think only of the joy that you’d “give to a couple who could not have children of their own.”

You were told that if you changed your mind, you would be disappointing a wonderful adoptive mother

You were told that you could not keep your baby as your baby has been promised to someone already.

You were encouraged to have the adopters pay your medical or living expenses such that you felt you “owed” them your baby.

You were encouraged to meet with the adopters and after meeting them felt you could not bear to disappoint them by choosing to keep your baby

You were encouraged to establish a relationship with the adopters, and then “fell in love with” with them prior to surrender.

You were worried about disappointing children of prospective adoptive parents who are waiting for your baby

You were encouraged to have the adopters in the labour or delivery room with you, for the birth of “their” baby, and thus you felt you could not bear to disappoint them by “changing your mind.”



C. Psychological Coercion. Purpose: To remove from you all personal support systems and make you reliant on adoption professionals for advice, counselling and emotional support. To distance you from any person who might try to provide alternatives to surrender.

Methods used by “Adoption Professionals”:

You were encouraged to mistrust anyone who did not support you surrendering your baby.

Your family members and/or boyfriend were prohibited from seeing you (in a maternity home or other facility).

You were incarcerated by your parents in a maternity home or wage home where adoption was stressed as “the loving option” and/or “the only option.”

Contact with your parents, boyfriend, fiance, etc. was restricted by the agency, maternity home, or social worker(s).

Your correspondence in or out of the maternity home or wage home was screened.

Telephone use was restricted in the maternity home or wage home.

Your boyfriend was lied to by adoption professionals that the baby was not his.

You were told that your parents were coercing you by encouraging you to keep your baby, that “they only want to be grandparents.”

You were encouraged to distrust anyone who didn’t support you surrendering your baby.




D. Psychological Coercion. Purpose: To psychologically and physically distance you from your baby in order to increase the probability that you would surrender. To ensure that surrender of your baby was seen by you as “inevitable.”

Methods used by “Adoption Professionals”:

You were encouraged to have prospective adopters at the birth of your baby.

Your were encouraged to give access to prospective adopters in hospital or/ your access to your baby in the hospital was restricted

You were put into a ward other than the maternity ward for recovery, a distance away from your baby.

Your baby was immediately transferred without your consent to a different hospital.

While still pregnant you were labelled a “birthmother,” to  psychologically groom you to create a baby for someone else .

You asked for your baby and were told “No”

You were told that you were not allowed to see your baby unless/until you signed the surrender papers.

You asked for your baby and were told that it was best that you did not see your baby.

You were given general anesthetic for the birth and kept under anesthetic until your baby was removed for adoption.

You were given mind-altering drugs which impaired your judgement

Your signature was obtained while still in hospital or under the influence of mind-altering drugs

The drug Stilboestrol was administered to you as a lactation suppressant without your consent.

You were bound up physically to prevent you from breastfeeding.

You asked for your baby back and the adopters and agency stalled until the “revocation of consent” period had expired.

you were introduced to the term “birthmother”, “birthfather”, “birthparents” and only referred to in this context

you were encouraged to write letters to your child and told you must refer to your child as “my birthchild” and refer to yourself as only “your birthmother” or your “birthfather”

you were encourage to emotionally detach from your child prior to birth, that when thinking of the child, think of the child as belonging to the adoptive parents already.

you were asked to describe your child’s “ideal parents” and then received a prospective adoptive parents profile that matched exactly what you had described

you were told to ensure that all hospital professionals knew of your “adoption plan” prior to birth and to do what “was best to encourage your to follow through with your plan” in order to to ensure an adoption transaction took place


E. Financial Coercion. Purpose: To make you feel financially pressured to surrender. 

You are told, or led to believe, that no social assistance was available that would provide you with the financial support necessary to enable you to keep your baby.

The hospital refused to release your baby to you unless you pay them a large sum of money beyond your ability to pay.

Your pregnancy expenses, legal fees, and hospital bill was paid by prospective adopters leaving you feeling unable to change your mind because of financial considerations.

G. To guarantee the surrender of your child.

Methods used by “Adoption Professionals”:

Adoption professionals were at the hospital or in your hospital room
after you gave birth.

You were told at some point that the adoption was “final” and found out later that it wasn’t.

You were told that your baby had died at birth and later found this was false.

You were invited to fill out a form indicating the number of visits/videos/pics/contact you would like in an open adoption making you believe you had control over this process.

You were led to believe that that adoption was your only alternative.

You were led to believe that a promise of open adoption was a legally-binding agreement

You were told you would “get over it” and be able to return to your “normal life.”

The documents were signed by someone else forging your signature without your knowledge or consent.

You were informed after signing a “pre-birth consent” that it would be held binding in a court-of-law.



H. Withholding information from the mother. Purpose: To ensure you would surrender by withholding known information about risks or negative consequences.

Methods used by “Adoption Professionals”:

Information withheld about the known lifelong implications, risks, and emotional and mental health outcomes as a consequence of surrender

Information withheld about options that would enable you to keep your baby (i.e. financial assistance, temporary foster care, foster care for you and your child together, temporary guardianship, or filing through court for child support from your baby’s father)

Information withheld about your right to independent legal counsel to explain the legal document you were signing and the legal ramifications of it and to be present in the room to protect your rights as you signed it.

Information withheld about the existence of a “revocation of consent” period.

You were not permitted to read the documents you were signing.

You were not given a copy of the documents you signed.

You were pressured to decide on adoption while still pregnant, or to surrender your infant without being able to first care for your infant for several weeks post-partum in order to make an informed decision about motherhood?

Information withheld from you about your right to take as many days, weeks or months as you needed before deciding on adoption, if you decided on it at all.

Information withheld about your right to care-for and nurture your baby in the hospital.

Information withheld about your right to take your baby home from the hospital with you.


In Contrast: Your Rights as a Mother:

These are some of the rights that may have been denied to you, no matter what your age or social situation was when you gave birth:

  • You had the right to see your baby after he/she was born.
  • You had the right to hold, nurse, and care for your baby.
  • You had the right to be told the sex of your baby.
  • You had the right to independent legal counsel to explain the legal documents you were signing and to be present when you signed them.
  • You had the right to care for your baby without feeling pressured to decide about adoption within ANY certain time period.
  • You had the right to adequate financial support which would have enabled you to keep and raise your baby.

These rights come from application of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (http://www.un.org/Overview/rights.html), which has since 1948 guaranteed ALL citizens of Canada, the U.S. and other nations these protections:

  • Article 12. – No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, FAMILY, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honour and reputation. Everyone has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.
  • Article 16(3) – The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State.
  • Article 25(1) – Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control. (2) Motherhood and childhood are entitled to special care and assistance. All children, whether born in or out of wedlock, shall enjoy the same social protection.

 

Are mothers “choosing” adoption?

DECISION: The ability to make a fully-informed, non-coerced choice between two or more viable options. No choice is not a choice.

Copyright © 2020 Origins Canada Inc. Permission to reprint granted as long as this article is reprinted in its entirety and with copyright statement included.