If you are already involved in an adoption transaction using an adoption agency or a private adoption and you have not signed a Consent to Adoption, you have the right to terminate all contact with the adoption agency, prospective adopters, or anyone else associated with the adoption. Tell them you have changed your mind and not to contact you ever again. If prospective adopters contact you after you have told them not to, then you have the right to go to police and obtain a restraining order against them. They have NO rights in this situation. We at Origins will also advocate for you if you contact us, and if you want us to help tell people to stay away from you.
Remember at ANY TIME in the process you can end the relationship with the adoption agency and the prospective adopters. Do not worry if it feels like a big wedding that you know is wrong, but so much money has been spent and you are afraid to call it off and the wedding day is coming.
It is your right and it is ok to tell them you have changed your mind. Just change your number and your email, and do not be intimidated by any lawyer or any other person. You have the right to call it off at any time.
This is your baby, and adoptive parents have absolutely no rights to your child until you sign that paper and the revocation period has expired. Adoption agencies know that and that is why they may have you “choosing parents“ and participating and planning “covenant agreements” and “entrustment ceremonies” … those ceremonies are to get you to buy in and make commitments, even though they are not legal ones, In marketing terms they are “trial closes: to ensure the final sale – in this case, the relinquishment of your child to them.
Assert your rights as a mother and tell the agency that you are keeping your baby and not to contact you ever again. Do not give in to their pressure. They have no rights over you. Stop all contact with them.
Note: If you are working with a Children’s Aid Society you must be more careful, as they may still try to take your child from you. They are very hard to get rid of once they have you in their sights. It is helpful if you have a parent or other adult to support and advocate for you. Origins can help. If you need assistance in dealing with a Children’s Aid Society, call us as we have experience in this area, and we know your rights.
Make sure you:
- See your doctor regularly for prenatal care so there are records of this – very important!!
- Show your intent to keep and care for your child:Showing your intent means that you are prepared for a child to come into your home. You have all the baby clothes, diapers, crib, and all other layette items ready for the baby coming home from the hospital.
- Attend parenting classes and keep the records – very important!
- Stay away from recreational drugs and alcohol and do not “party.” You are about to become a mother.
- Contact Origins
You will never regret it and it will feel right. Hold tight to your baby and tell your child that you will never give him or her to strangers, that you may not be rich, that you may not be educated yet, but you are going to do your best and you are his or her natural mother and you will not ever abandon him or her, then step up to the plate and be the best parent you can.
Your child will thank you for the rest of his or her life.